Navigating Perimenopause with Curiosity and Compassion

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You

By Heather Corinna (Read 2026)

One of the things I've become increasingly aware of over the past few years is how little many of us are taught about perimenopause. I feel like I never know anything about the female body really. (Like the meme song We never really studied the Female Body https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Qz2qWXy3xJo)

It's odd when you stop and think about it. Roughly half the population will experience it in some form, and everyone else will almost certainly know or love someone who does. Yet many of us grow up hearing little more than jokes about hot flashes before the conversation abruptly ends. When people begin noticing changes in their sleep, memory, mood, anxiety, concentration, energy, or bodies, they're often left wondering whether they're imagining things or somehow "not handling aging well."

That strikes me as a problem.

I picked up What Fresh Hell Is This? because I wanted to understand this stage of life better, both personally and professionally. I expected to learn more about hormones and common symptoms. I did. But I also found myself appreciating something much bigger than that.

Heather Corinna approaches perimenopause with the same curiosity, warmth, and inclusivity that has made their work through Scarleteen so meaningful for so many people. Rather than treating menopause as something to fear, hide, or simply endure, they invite readers to understand what's happening with their bodies while making room for the enormous variety of ways people experience this transition.

One of the things I appreciated most was that this book never seemed interested in telling people what they "should" experience.

Instead, it repeatedly reminded me that there isn't one right way to move through perimenopause. Some people have relatively mild symptoms. Some have experiences that completely reshape daily life. Some feel relieved by the changes. Others experience grief, frustration, confusion, or all of those emotions at once.

None of those experiences are wrong.

I think that's one of the strengths of the book. It offers clear, evidence-informed information without pretending everyone's body will follow the same script. Throughout the book, Corinna balances research with lived experience in a way that feels both trustworthy and deeply compassionate.

The information is thorough without becoming overwhelming, and practical without feeling overly prescriptive.

What I Found Myself Thinking About

As I read, I kept coming back to something I find myself wondering about fairly often.

Why do we know so little about experiences that are actually quite common?

Perimenopause isn't rare.

Neither are puberty, pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility, disability, chronic illness, aging, grief, or many of the other experiences that shape our lives. Yet our culture often seems far more comfortable joking about these transitions than talking about them honestly.

That lack of conversation has consequences.

When we don't have language for what's happening, it's easy to assume we're the problem. I've found this to be true in therapy as well.

Sometimes clients come in wondering why they're suddenly feeling anxious, emotionally reactive, exhausted, forgetful, disconnected from themselves, or unlike the person they've always been. Sometimes those experiences are rooted in trauma or chronic stress. Sometimes they're connected to depression or anxiety. And sometimes hormones deserve to be part of the conversation too.

Having language doesn't solve everything. But it often replaces confusion with understanding. And understanding makes it much easier to approach ourselves with compassion instead of criticism.

About Heather Corinna

I've been reading Scarleteen for nearly twenty years.

Although it's often described as a resource for teenagers, I've continued recommending it to adults because I've consistently found it to be one of the most thoughtful, inclusive, and evidence-informed resources available when it comes to bodies, relationships, sexuality, and health.

Knowing Heather Corinna's work beforehand helped me appreciate this book even more.

Their writing has a way of making complicated topics feel approachable without oversimplifying them. They take readers seriously, acknowledge uncertainty when it exists, and consistently center dignity rather than shame.

A Personal Reflection

One of the things I've been noticing as I get older is how much of adulthood involves learning things I assumed someone would have taught me already. (Like over and over again)

Sometimes that's about relationships.

Sometimes it's about money.

Sometimes it's about our bodies.

Perimenopause feels like one of those subjects that many people end up piecing together from friends, podcasts, internet searches, and late-night moments of wondering, "Is this normal?"

I wish we talked about it more openly.

Not because everyone needs to become an expert, but because understanding what's happening in our bodies can be profoundly reassuring. It reminds us that we're part of a much larger human experience.

That's one of the reasons I wanted to read this book, and one of the reasons I wanted to include it here.

Digging Deeper

If this post resonated with you, you might also enjoy exploring:

Come As You Are – Exploring the science of sexuality, desire, and the many factors that shape our intimate lives.

Mindfulness – Learning how curiosity can help us relate differently to change, uncertainty, and the bodies we live in.

Trauma Therapy – Understanding how the nervous system responds to stress, major life transitions, and overwhelm.

Identity Work – Exploring how our sense of self continues to evolve throughout different stages of life.

Culture, Power & Belonging – Reflecting on the cultural stories we inherit about aging, bodies, gender, and worth.

Contact Me – If you're navigating life transitions, identity shifts, or changes in your body that feel confusing or overwhelming, I'd be happy to connect.